Im not the girl your mom warned you about, her imagination was never this good.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2016, 5:05 PM
Spiral of reaching out

My day begins.

Stretching out
my hands towards a familiar feeling
trying to grab it back but I see
mistakes hitting me and moments blaming me
I hug my knees and stare in disbelief
powered by the broken photo frames
with a voice ringing, gravity holding me repeating itself:

You don't look for happiness, you choose to be.

I scurry back to the box. I was told
to always stay within the lines
to fight within the lines.
To dream within the lines.

My day ends.

Friday, September 16, 2016, 1:57 AM
Just go with the flow.

I understand now that going with the flow does not mean being mindless.
It means trusting what I feel.
Embracing my emotions.

Go with the flow.

Leap of faith.

Don't hurt the glass menagerie. For it might seem all beautiful, it is very fragile.

Friday, September 02, 2016, 11:08 AM
They say time heals

I'm suppose to be glad you are in a happier place.
But Each time I think of all the things I miss about us, its like a punch in the stomach.
PLaster On A sMIle, lets go about our day, this too shall pass.

Dear Carissa, I miss you, I love you.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016, 3:13 PM
Stop searching, start living.

Being 23 brings me to an awkward stage where I think of being in the prime of my life. At the same time, because we always set the highest standards for ourselves, it also leaves me googling self improvement articles and videos. Developing mantras and jotting down quotes.

This drive to be the best version of myself is something I used to tell my students. I thought of how I keep putting myself through situations thinking I will find myself, but the truth is, we are constantly evolving like Pokemon.

These things we get exposed to online help us think and develop ideas about our life, but the best way to learn is to put yourself out there and surprise yourself. It is only through challenges that we learn more about ourselves.

Thursday, June 09, 2016, 1:09 PM
To be at peace with something

There are many ways to deal with loss. In the last half a year, I dealt with loss of trust a loss of a friend. It seems for a moment that just when you think you have reached the lowest of lows, life serves you can bottomless pit of pain.

First came numbness. And then came responsibility.
I think the step to deal with loss is to realize that we are still living. There are people counting on us and people who worry for us.

As selfish as it is, think of the people in your present and future. Living with this guilt isn't easy for some. Then I reason it out to myself. Selfish to those in the past, selfless to those in the present.

Q taught me to love myself and saw the value in me before I did. He taught me how special I was. C taught me to stand strong and to be confident. To understand that you cannot please the world and to never hurt yourself. Losing Q reminded me that I hav the love an care from C and D. And when C passed on, I learnt how to remember all the best memories and to reflect on the changes in myself.

Yes , it is sad. Allow yourself to be sad. Then, allow yourself to love again. And to know that you are worth it and if they loved you just as much, they probably think so too.

Tuesday, June 07, 2016, 3:56 PM

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Monday, March 07, 2016, 10:50 PM

Its been 3 years.