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Im not the girl your mom warned you about, her imagination was never this good.

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Thursday, June 09, 2016, 1:09 PM
To be at peace with something

There are many ways to deal with loss. In the last half a year, I dealt with loss of trust a loss of a friend. It seems for a moment that just when you think you have reached the lowest of lows, life serves you can bottomless pit of pain.

First came numbness. And then came responsibility.
I think the step to deal with loss is to realize that we are still living. There are people counting on us and people who worry for us.

As selfish as it is, think of the people in your present and future. Living with this guilt isn't easy for some. Then I reason it out to myself. Selfish to those in the past, selfless to those in the present.

Q taught me to love myself and saw the value in me before I did. He taught me how special I was. C taught me to stand strong and to be confident. To understand that you cannot please the world and to never hurt yourself. Losing Q reminded me that I hav the love an care from C and D. And when C passed on, I learnt how to remember all the best memories and to reflect on the changes in myself.

Yes , it is sad. Allow yourself to be sad. Then, allow yourself to love again. And to know that you are worth it and if they loved you just as much, they probably think so too.




Tuesday, June 07, 2016, 3:56 PM
:*)

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you




Monday, March 07, 2016, 10:50 PM
today.

Its been 3 years.






Friday, November 06, 2015, 9:15 PM
Calmness

You know all hope is lost when you are so upset you become calm.

You can always think of me as being wrong,
but it is about time I stop being submissive and believe in myself being all that is right.




Thursday, October 29, 2015, 4:07 PM
An unfortunate blessing

Here is the thing, I never knew how strong I could be. I have been predicting situations and still it didn't help me prevent anything bad from happening between us. Literally I learnt so much just for this 1 incident. Surprising I feel very liberated at this moment. A lot of hurt and unsettled uncomfortable feelings but at the same time, I am glad that happened.

You say you can protect me? I know you are trying but your character attracts people to take advantage of you and eventually I have to suffer from it.
So I keep asking myself, if a husband has been faithful all his life, and eventually falters and make 1 mistake, do you break everything up for that one mistake? or do you look past it for all the happiness you had?

Reminder to self: Pick yourself. If truly one day that happens and a man betrays your trust. Leave not because you are powerful, because at that time you will feel the weakest in the world. Leave because seeing him is a constant reminder of your weakness. Leave because you deserve to be happy and trust me, those memories and words and love you hanged on to? they wouldn't have been real. Betrayal is not a one time incident, it is an alien that grows inside your brain silently till it reveals itself in one blow. Don't feed the alien.

Perhaps my defenses were so high up which is why I feel numbness now.
Perhaps my mind knows it wouldn't end, but then again if it were real, I will force it to end.
my mind runs wild fighting to choose between reality and my imagination.
Still, I can't seem to ignore you.

If you truly have betrayed me. I will be strong and move on.




Wednesday, September 30, 2015, 7:48 PM
The Beauty of Love, The Beauty of You

The Beauty of Love is similar to the Beauty of YOU.
Love is unique. There are many labels that says
it has to be romantic, it has its ups and downs,
it will end if this or that happens...
similarly to the labels placed on individuals.

By race, religion, gender,
by observations of your character,
actions and choices, people label you.
You are smart, you are sexy,
you are this or that.

There are societal guidelines to love that many impose upon their own,
monogamy, no gay marriage,
saving the virginity.
Similarly, society have certain guidelines on how to behave.

Give up your seats, stand in line and queue,
No spitting, no littering...

But the thing is, both Love and YOUR identity can seem rather typical,
especially when the world is labeling THEIR expectations on you.
But here is the thing. You are special.

There is only ONE you.
And you should let Yourself shine.
You should let Love shine.

Form your own rules,
trust in the other,
believe in the impossible.
Because no love is the same.
No one is the same completely.

Don't fit yourself into the boxes.
Spill over! and live life <3 p="">




7:35 PM
Don't be afraid to love

How much can you love?

Well love grows and that's something about you that you should be proud of.
You are afraid because the harder you love, the harder you might fall.

But that's the thing about love.
It is not a gamble, I used to think it is.
It is merely a choice.

There are no losers in love. The only losers are the ones who perceive themselves as having loss something.
And if he cheats on you in the future after all the love and effort and faithfulness you have put in,

trust me babe, you would have loss nothing anyway.
Then. pick yourself up and the only thing you lose is every moment you choose to be upset about something not worth your time :)