Wendilicious
Moi
Teach. Sing. Write. Fly. Dive. Rave.
I'm not the girl your mom warned you about, her imagination was never this good.
Work for pasta and ice cream and also makes pasta and ice cream work for me.
Ecoutez
More of me
5/20/20, 12:21 PM
Feeling in love?
Take it from a girl who took a massive dog bite scar on an adventure around the world. Your scars become conversations starters on a diving boat. The edges and lumps become a keyhole opening for others to show care and concern at a Koh Phangan Full moon party :)
When I see someone with thick make up, it scares me. I feel intimidated by those layers because I cannot seem to humanize them. I can't relate to having no scars, or no wrinkles. And at the back of my mind, I feel like I need to hide my scars and wrinkles so we are on a leveled field.
Wrinkles are stories.
Maybe I am blessed, because I found someone who appreciates me for my mind, thoughts and choices. But ladies, if a guy likes you for the $$$ and skills you use to make yourself "flawless" then really, that's not loving you. That's loving make up.
Leave him and the huge hole in your wallet behind.
I think it's important we still dress up and find ways to look good for ourselves but let's not forget the beauty beneath (our skin and also our makeup foundation) because take it from me, without these stories, we are just infants in conversations, colorless eyeshadow palettes and powerless to what we deserve.
Labels: Bungee Jumping, cheap, Dive, Fitness., Full moon party, guitar, Koh Phangan, Music, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Teach, Write
5/16/20, 12:21 PM
Feeling reflective?
At the half year mark of every year, (also circuit breaker so i have more time to write haha #sgunited) i like to reflect and see how far i have accomplished my new year resolutions. To be perfectly honest, most of the time, I repeat my new year resolutions. Maybe because some of them are habits I want to form in which 1 year isn't enough (like exercising) and some of the resolutions are just not easy to keep to (like exercising haha). So one of my #ResolutionOfTheCentury is to "Live in the moment" and I swear, it is so hard.
Idk is it because I am just emotionally charged, ready to empathize, cry and re-question my existence just by listening to a stranger's problems. At some point, i really felt it could be impossible. Years of reminding myself and recycling this resolution just left me feeling less and less of a believer that I could achieve it.
In year 2020. This year lah. Not only do I feel like I am living in the moment, I feel that I finally understand why I have been failing all those years. There was only one variable. The people I choose to surround myself with. I realised (by coincidence) that a lot of the people around me were not helping me live in the moment. They are not evil lah! It's just that people say before they think how it might affect my feelings. And I think that's just the nature of some characters and for others, they just dont understand or listen to your needs.
You can still be friends no doubt. But I learnt that people who truly love you, despite not being sensitive by nature, would want to learn to love you better, in a way that works for you.
Labels: Bungee Jumping, cheap, Dive, Fitness., Full moon party, guitar, Koh Phangan, Music, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Teach, Write
5/13/20, 3:10 PM
Feeling like a photoshoot?
There is just something about having a nice picture taken that makes my heart feel wholesome!I guess I've been having my pictures taken at Serangoon Broadway with my family and I remember just beaming from ear to ear! Maybe it's because I can't do make up properly, maybe it's because its so rare to have my whole family together, but I felt so happy when I saw the final product.
Okay but this isnt about that, it's about this.
My very first professional photoshoot was something I thought would be a milestone in my 20s, to document my crazy single days before I got serious w my special someone *ahem ahem story for another day*, but turns out, this photoshoot was really a gift of realising why I love pretty pictures so much.
I guess I was always one who loved it when someone caught a nice picture of me. And no, I do not jump up with excitement and click Instagram to choose the best filter the moment I see it. I loved it because it captures me in a way that I feel validated. Meaning, people take a chio picture of me, and I go "wah omg I so chio ! How come I don't know! Well, now I know!"
I mean, I loved it. When my smile just seem natural. And when the picture reflected my own expectations of what I deem as chio and beautiful. So, I kept these pictures close to my heart, as a reminder of what I am. 
But now, i feel that it is not so much about that. I mean, honestly... some of the pictures arent that gorgeous okay! haha! I later reflected and realised, it was more about the attention given to me, the observant nature of the photographer that validated me. That someone saw something, and snapped a photo that seemed beautiful to me.
So it was fun finding a photoshoot for myself and closing up that lil chapter for myself.
And it was so so fun!! :D Like I really felt so at home and myself posing for all the shots! :D Much thanks to Jemanci Studio and his team (Vanida was just superb w make up okay! Like I never felt so pretty before hehehe And I liked how I still looked like me and not someone else..)
Honestly, if you want like those insta shots and stuff, I think you can just go find collabs online and get those other photographers for cheaper but if you want proper portraits taken. You can try Jeremy and his team! :DOKay till next time :) Be safe at home! #SGunitedBtw, i did not get paid to do this! Haha I just wanted to document this fun weekend I had :)Labels: Dive, Fitness., Music, Poetry, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Sustainable fashion, Teach, ungee Jumping, Write
4/27/20, 9:52 PM
BuzzFeed: My Own Take on trying out Tinder for a week.
Posting something I found in my treasure cove during my experimental dating days :)It is like a buffet for women ain't it? But truly, when I reject someone, they often say "nice guys finish last I guess." or "you need to manage your expectations".
Ready for my buzzfeed article?
Nice guys finish last:
Hard to get? Play the game and truly, think about the type of people you are truly locking in. Run the endless search on that treadmill of games while I choose the inconsistency and surprises from something genuine, something workable and real.
Strip yourself away from the game of what ifs and enter the world or what is (: Nice guys finish last, but that’s because their partners bother learning about them and making every hard on finish ever so heavenly worth it.
Be as you are:
The phone lit megabytes of a familiar cute image. A representation of loyalty and company, and right beside, a man trying hard, hoping that the image of him and his friend’s dog will capture some innocent young heart.
It’s strange to see descriptions of people promising the world when they barely even know the different terms and needs of individualized girls: It is as if they have predicted our want for stability and loyalty, while leaving out the factors of individualism. That it takes different things to secure that feeling of stability for each woman.
Ironically, men should stop giving women what they think they want, and start observing and understanding the woman they have interest in. Profiles should show reliable facts about oneself and not heavy tainted promises on what we think the category of men or women expect from us.
Labels: Bungee Jumping, Dive, Fitness., Music, Poetry, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Sustainable fashion, Teach, Write
4/22/20, 9:28 PM
An Original Poem by Wendy: Paper Mache
A piece of paper will never restrict your form of expression
You are not limited by its’ ego or caged by its’ judgement.
I can take me time and make full use of the space and time given to explain, to draw references, to clarify and to express my emotions. And it is my work that’s the star.
Labels: Bungee Jumping, Dive, Fitness., Music, Poetry, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Sustainable fashion, Teach, Write
4/17/20, 9:25 PM
An Original Poem: Archives
I am not tamedI am not boring
I am not older
I am not lame
I am happier
I am loved
I am content
I am placing some of these memories in archive. Even the one that seeks to be fully independent when it comes to letting someone in. The one where I tell myself time and time again, not to get tricked and the only person you can trust is yourself. The one that flew across the globe to capture memories on her own. The girl who went through 24hours on a plane mourning the loss of her best friend alone. The memories of the best party under the full moon beside the ocean and meeting the most incredible pot of people from everywhere. The memories of trusting these people. The memory of losing her ticket stub and a completely new friend paying for her, and crying when she thought she lost that friend. That time I think my drink got spiked while being so concerned for everyone else and forgetting my own, then a new stranger protected me. Surviving 24hours or partying without sleep in a hostel without locked doors for my valuables. Surviving a 6 days without my phone. Surviving a police raid and watching regular young looking men seeking dangerous pleasures while u laugh about it with my new found BFFs. A stream of themed parties follows.
Dancing through the waves, the stretch of sand, running in beach attire along streets and rejecting advances with every crazy turn I make in the crowd, only wanting to have a good time with myself and my new friends. Rolling under the stars and appreciating the party with tinted drunk glasses. Being brave to let loose. Then having to switch that off. The moment I cried leaving that place, where I felt more in control then anywhere else was dreadful. But that’s all just a beautiful memory now. A tattoo of bravery I wear so I refer to every now and then as something checked off my bucket list.
I have something real
Something precious
Just one thing
That sustains me.
Someone that makes me feel the same joy I felt from the comfort of being in the same bed. Someone that I didn’t need to share anything or show anything to seem exclusive worthy special. Someone who makes me want to keep trying to be a better me, even when I don’t have to.
Someone I trust maybe even more than fleeting encounters with strangers who can’t hurt me.
Someone who deals with my emotions better than alcohol.
Someone who makes me the light of ever room, the life of every party, without having to step into any party.
Someone who allows me space to be brave and to be 100% me without having to travel half the world to rid my teacher identity.
Someone who coincidentally saw all that was exclusively special about me when I was 13, way before I traveled the world to find myself.
Labels: Bungee Jumping, Dive, Fitness., Full moon party, Koh Phangan, Music, Poetry, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Sustainable fashion, Teach, Write
2/2/18, 11:41 PM
2 February
I teach Literature and EL. My teaching philosophy is very NIE MOE centric. I want to help students think for themselves. I believe that is the one skill I want to equip my students with. The gift of thought.I have been putting this off for awhile now. Writing.
It’s been tough. But I didn’t want my memoirs to be filled with complaints. I wanted my mind to be in a better place. And I think I am now.
Just a recap, I placed myself in a spiral of choices and I felt stuck in a place where rules held me back and I trapped myself in self doubt and trusted the insults from my students too much for my own good. It was terrible victimizing myself. But these records are not one to frame the Singapore’s education system, rather, it is one that is truthful and honest, one that exposes a little Dream in a teacher who lived wanting to influence her students to thinkfor themselves. A teacher who’s dream started as a camouflaged excuse to sign a bond 4.5 years ago so her family wouldn’t have to face the financial burden of supporting her university education. A teacher that put her empathy to the test and experienced life like one of the lowest form in a position of “authority”, where it’s not about money, but rather, being treated with complete disrespect by the very people she set out to believe in and see the potential in. They said you needed patience to be a teacher, but the truth is that you need patience to be insulted and yet still choose to do good. So this is my story, cut and served to you in the most honest form that I can translate in. My memoirs of a teacher.
A huge disclaimer, these experiences are honest but one of a kind and I’m sure it doesn’t encompass the experience of every teacher out there. This is just me ranting, reflecting, and growing.
Let’s begin by describing just the first hour of an every day life at where I teach.
I wake up and begin at full gear by 720a.m where I face my form class of 40 kids. I have seen this class for more than a year now since I’ve followed them up from Secondary 1. I spend the first 40 minutes of the day as a broken recorder, “tuck in your shirt”, “why is your socks printed?”, “you have detention, remember to go for your smokalizer test as well..” and till date, I dread this part the most. Because they would throw tantrums, yell, refuse to comply, be defiant, and all you can do is hope they would fight and get into trouble. Because you have to be the one protecting every one. Because you are vital to keeping them safe even when they blame you and spit nasty insults at you, you stay calm, put on a customer service smile and speak calmly. You take their punches kindly and return them with a hug of comfort. It is hard because I’m basically converted to a creature I don’t even recognize especially when I can’t use my usual defense mechanism, to run away. But it is through these minutes that I put my character to the test.
I will stop here now. I am on MC today, and my phone rang multiple times informing me that my form class had a couple of cases. A student punching the window till his hands bled, a bit hitting another boy, another boy throwing another boy’s bag and a couple of bleeding victims. It is truly a bloody Friday let’s just leave it as that.
Labels: Bungee Jumping, Dive, Fitness., Music, Poetry, Rave, Rock Festivals, Self-growth, Sustainable fashion, Teach, Write
11/16/17, 12:47 AM
What I want
i want a thrilling job. One that shouts funAll day everyday
I want my thoughts to shift away from my insecurities and
A job where I excel in
One which I’m good at.
That would make me feel full.
11/8/17, 2:35 PM
I sing you an ode of love
Dearest Wendelynmy dearest sister. Happy birthday. You are 15.. it took me awhile to pen these down.
I have so much to tell you. I will keep it short.
You are my numbing pill. When I think about you, I feel proud of myself.
You are my pride.
I have an excruciating burst of love, for you. It over-spills each time I bring up your name to the people around me. I worry for you. I care for you, and above all, I know I will always be here for you.
I'm not afraid of you growing up. You are mature and sensible. You have the gift of thought. It is special, and I wish you will always use it for good. You have the wits, to entertain everyone, and often so, yourself. This part you don't know yet, but you have and always will be beautiful to me.
I love you so so much and I feel so blessed to have such an amazing sister. One who sees the best in me, when I'm completely blinded by the fog of insults from the world. You bring out the beauty in me. When I am afraid, I look to you and I want to appear strong for you. I then, melt into a weldable metal and shield myself from the every day pain. I numb myself so I can feel what you feel.
I love you so so much and I am everything I am because you love me, and because you love me, I can love me. I am absolutely in need of you.
I will protect you if it means I have to be stronger,
I will silence my bursting thoughts, if it means you live through another year of smiles.
So, please know that you are irreplaceable, special, and unimaginably amazing to me.
To our endless love,
Your sister.
9/6/17, 3:04 PM
A mother's love prevails
Time and time againI reach into the deepest part of my soul to find
Comfort and Confidence
Yet all I find is criticism.
And I want to be fine on my own. I want to be strong.
But yet I seem to dial up a familiar number.
Hovering above the call button.
Not wanting but yet needing my Meemoose.
I am fully 24, full in many aspects
On the surface.
I have a career, a man, and what I think of as friends.
And yet there's always a void.
The void that feeds on affirmation.
One that requires a tangible voice telling me that I am good enough.
Achievements amounting to "good enough"
The endless pursuit of any moment that spells comfort.
I know I need to be stronger.
But for now, I still need her.
The biological god that gave me life.
Like a drug, an easy way, to be affirmed.
It goes beyond being there, physically.
It exist in compounds far more complex.
In knowing just the amount of right things to say, to the endearing touch, to the sound of her voice,
To her magical smile.
It is the way she makes you feel like the most unreasonable of all your emotions are basically what makes us human.
It's the way she then makes you feel special in the way you can cope with these obstacles. She described you as unbeatable and if anyone can do it, it's you.
She gives you confidence and comfort.
And truly, the greatest gift of all.
7/25/17, 9:26 PM
A ticking time bomb
it seems different.Or was it just that I've been ignoring the signs that it wasn't right.
Don't feel it.
So I make myself need it less.
One day I won't need it.
That's what happens to married couples. An expiry date to the love felt?
What if it becomes worse. What if u don't feel it, just me?
6/21/17, 12:22 AM
People like us
People don't always think like you.Its not all about you.
It took me awhile to get this into my head.
The world did not go through the same mental abuse that you did while growing up and thinking that all I had to do was to run in athe hamster wheel and chase anything that affirms my looks because a girl's asset is one cast and reflected in what thy can gain through male affirmation.
My friends pulled my out of the jungle where I was tangled in vines holding me to the endless pursuit of excellence. A standard only achievable by photoshop and digital features. I wanted what possible any victim of self hate wanted. To not feel lesser than a valued member.
But really it was never worth it. I achieved so much affirmation from odd sources, experience things beyond what I thought my morals would ever let me achieve and still it felt like they were just false judgements and needed more; like a needful manifestation.
My friends pulled me out, taught me what goes beyond glamor and self hate articles. They made me realize that I could be anything I wanted, I set out to be me. I planned to crush all the constructs previously written in my conscious. Tainted by the expectations of society. I felt wholesome without a man. I knew then, that I needed to love myself.
On bad days like these, I question if it's worth it to take what u know u might lose. To open yourself to the possibility of failure and now unimaginable pain.
Then I see our picture. I tell myself we are different. I tell myself it's a bad day and to move out of it.
5/5/17, 10:00 AM
Mounds of clay
It tries to alter the form with every pair of hands that embraces it.
But it's losing its elasticity
It's wrinkling up.
I know what they want out of me.
I am fully aware.
But here I am just trying to find my own peace of mind and now I have to be responsible for another.
4/10/17, 9:02 PM
Relational 21
Linger.
On your mind. She wants to stay there and let his gaze stay on her lips.
She mouths the words, come closer.
He gets hooked like a limp fish controlled by her slight movements.
She feels the tension and likes how intense he is gazing as his driving eyes thoroughly scan downwards.
Every inch, baiting her passionate body to respond.
He flushed. His weakness transforming to strength exuberated through his rough hands as he gives a tight grip on her waist. The popping veins crying out a sense of intensity like no other.
She follows.
Now it's his move.
She lets out a soft sigh and feels weak in the knees.
She gets down.
1/23/17, 10:51 AM
Embracing
every one told her to trust, to let go and to give.She knew she needed to trust. The irony of it all, she was basically the most honest person around, and that was what flawed her in this world.
She genuinely commits, spoke and acted.
And everyone could then critique her for all that she is.
All that hurt her.
Wounded and bruised she evaluates and her world tells her not to trust in what the world said about love.
But then again, it is in the world's standards to trust.
She start developing negative thoughts about herself for she never feels enough.
Stop. For you are enough. You can't trust because you have the guts to admit it to yourself and to others. You speak what the world often hides. You allow all your emotions to reflect so easily because while you are afraid of how people would think of you, it was morally not in your code to lie through what everyone else call "putting up a front".
You are different and you might not fit in.
But that does not mean the world is right.
Being honest isn't bad. Being afraid isn't bad. Being evaluative and sensitive isn't bad.
Being caring isn't a weakness.
You just need someone right to appreciate all that about you.
Or even better. Start by loving all that about you. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to change that.
1/19/17, 12:52 PM
Poetry in music: Fight
Did my time, took my chances
I'm chasing sleep
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime.
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
1/10/17, 10:31 AM
My journey to growing up
Too many people across generations go through life not knowing the secret to being strong as an individual. I am still searching to regain my confidence from many events that push me down over the past quarter of a century. We pick up quotes online and messages that tell us how to be who we are, so much so that we forget that our identity is multi faceted and that staying true to yourself does not equate to being mono identified.
It struck me that what I needed to succeed in my role as a grown up is to code-switch between identities.
This does not mean hiding behind a mask and being someone that we are not, although certain uncomfy situations might force us to be so. It means embracing various aspects of your identity and working on all the faces of it. Instead of thinking that you are just that one genuine representation of yourself.
It means being a gentle soul when your partner needs help and being patient and observant to their needs.
It means being grateful to those who stick by you and showing them love in every way you know how and opening your heart up to love and being afraid of failure but trying anyway.
It also means embracing the working identity that forces you to put on a show and to seem like you hve it all figured out. To be visually strong amidst all the changes and insults that put you down. To walk with a stained skirt and still be proud of being in that skirt because you know you are much more than a pretty image.
It means going home and being kind and soft with your family. Helping out at home. Having hobbies and cooking for them. Telling them that you are okay, even if you are breaking down inside on so many levels. A different kind of strong.
It means sitting up at night thinking of how to become a better teacher tomorrow when the whole world seems to be counting on you for comfort, assurances, strength, confidence. When you face a class of confused faces and a lot of 100 students looking to you for some sign that they are good enough even if they seem like they want to hurt you, even if they seem uninterested, even if they have their troubles and expect you to read it off their faces. You shut your eyes and strengthen yourself. You embrace your weakness of caring too much. You take 10minutes to cry it out. To allow your weakness to show. And to motivate yourself. Then you spend the next hour thinking of ways to be strong again for tomorrow.
You switch in and out of what might seem like a thin stemmed flower on the rails of a train track. Some moments you embrace your gentle nature and feed yourself with comfort, for the world seems busy with their own problems. And when the train arrives, you brace yourself for the massive blow that will tip you over the 45degree angle that is humanly possible to bend over before you break. Only you don't break.
You hold on tight to that hug you gave yourself the previous night. You know you can go against your very nature of breaking.
1/4/17, 6:20 AM
My last birthday
I remember that day very vividly. It was kinda a few days before my birthday. About this time last year. I remember being excited to meet the 2 best friends that I had. I flew down to Clarke Quek. Our busy schedules always left us in separate worlds but once a month we er to drink together and find new food plces together.I remember how sore I felt after Quin left, how I was dragging myself because I enjoyed the physical presence of Loken and yet I knew I couldn't get over the love I had for Q. I sat by the river and I remember Carissa being worried for me for I have thinned from having diahorrea for a month. My body regurgitating and going against life because it felt broken inside and out. I was alive, but barely living.
I remember sitting my the river and telling Carissa about how I've been, trying to hide the tears and pains of how I was feeling. I remember holding back everything that I wanted to say because I knew we all had our own worries and problems on hand. I knew we were all swimming against the tide in our own way. I remember the smell of the water while we sat on the steps waiting for Daphne. I had so much in that moment. I loved that moment. While it was painful to have lost, in that moment I had you, Carissa.
After 40mins, Daphne popped out from the corner of my eye with a tcc paperbox and inside, revealing a melted lava cake with a falling candle. She couldn't find a lighter and the nearest TCC was super far away. They did that for me. I was so touched. I could barely hold back what felt like the greatest surprise in my life. We laughed so hard at how sloppy the cake was and blew the non existent candle. They then handed me a vintage coin pouch that contained an itouch. We didn't have money, and they got me a secondhand itouch and made a playlist of songs for me to help get over Quin. I remember many apps in the itouch like Psych and Carousell. They knew I wanted to play Psych with them. In that moment I burst into tears. They aren't friends who can romanticize anything. I've never gotten much words from these girls in terms of affirmation for our friendship but they always know how to show me and make me feel special.
This makes me recall back on the one performance when C and D surprised me and stayed back in school for. When they absolutely hate staying in school. We drank that night away after a huge screw up in the sound system. They said that they were still proud of me.
Bouncing back to that birthday, Carissa was reaching the end, I didn't know. She couldn't drink and was monitored by her family all the time. But she came out, she stayed late, for me. We drank a few rounds. Shots I had. Free drinks the whole night for the bartender had a crush on us. Carissa had wine while we had a whole array of strange drinks that kept coming my way.
She left early.
Her father came and fetched her.
She left early.
I miss her so much.
6:02 AM
Giving it up
I miss your touch, holding me in the gentlest of ways. I miss our long nights together where we could be ourselves and talk. Our connection is unmatchable. I miss how your breath touches my skin when you are whispering your love to me. I miss your body pressed against mine in an endearing and also intimate way. I miss how your arms will wrap around me and you squeeze me as though I am the one person on earth that matters.You taught me in that moment that I am the one person that matters, that humans falter but we will be forever and always, that my heart always belongs to you.
You taught me that you meant a lot to me.
Like a cage, love puts me in each time I open myself up to extend my capacity to love. But let's not be afraid of dedicating myself to this action/extraordinary gift.
12/30/16, 8:03 AM
The one post about Europe
It is the glow on the face when I see myself in pictures and mirrors that made me realize how happiness radiates.
It's about the new friends that will magically appear when you least expect and prove that you are amazing even when you are quiet and choosing yourself over others in your decisions to walk ahead and be alone.
It is about the strangers you meet that throw you free private rooms and drinks on the house just because you are beautiful and special and it's maybe convenient for them. You see people enjoying your very presence and appreciating the person that you are. Best of all, you aren't trying to please.
It is about calculated risks and being brave to love yourself for all that you have become. For the strength is unbelievable. You are so much stronger than you could have ever imagined. Traveling was possibly the bravest and most selfish thing you have ever done. Those who love you supported and stayed. The world did not hate me for choosing myself this one time. I could hear what I wanted during this stretch of 3 weeks. It was booming and telling me every step of the way. I never doubted myself, never restricted myself and chose to grab every moment by whatever horns it showed.
1. Listen to yourself and feed what you want for the person you have to take care of most is yourself, then you can have more to give to the people you love.
2. Seek pride in the people who stay with you, know that they do it out of love. Take some time to love them three folds now.
3. We don't get what we want every time, three weeks of a dream is more than what many can afford to in their lifetime. Remember how you have grown and keep building to better yourself.
4. Don't be afraid to fail. There will always be surprises along the way. Always choose to hug yourself inside instead of judging yourself.
5. Yes the world will blame you for plenty. But you can't listen to it, for they don't know you like you do, yourself. Be kind to the world. Be kind to yourself.
6. Stay true to the things you believe in. Recalculate what you want and stay true to youself.
7. The memories are temporal, what's permanent is how amazing they have changed you to be and how much stronger you are. How much readier you are to give. How much less afraid you are to fail and get lost.
Keep surprising yourself not by traveling alone for that is something to be content that I once had. Surprise yourself by changing the way you think about yourself and taking life every day as though whatever will be will be. The moments are countable and limited till the world ends for me. Don't be afraid for life will take care of you in many ways.